Don’t Say We Didn’t Warn You

Oh, the heartache. We’ve all experienced it. A perfectly good anniversary of one thing or another that you definitely would have observed in an apt fashion, if only you had gotten a little more lead time to prepare. But you didn’t, so you didn’t. It would have been better if you did. But you didn’t.

As of this date, you’ve got two weeks until the anniversary of Lester Bangs’ death. Get thee to a cold medicine aisle.

I Don’t Know What You’re Talking About

Billy Bob Thornton, freak-a-zoid. Man, anyone who can make me feel the teensiest bit sorry for Jian Ghomeshi must be acting like the worst kind of a shitbag. Times like this, I wish I lived in the alternative reality where Ghomeshi loses all regard for consequences and chases Thornton out of the studio with a golf club.

This Day in Rock History*

On this day in 1974 in Rock History, KISS undertook their ill-fated Destroyer I sessions with an young, virtually unknown foley artist named Laszlo Fiorentino as producer (on his birthday, no less!). The band was looking to make an artistic and commercial impact following the success of Dressed to Kill and Alive, and it so happened that Stanley and Simmons, while taking a working holiday in Rome to flesh out their ideas for the opening sequence — the moments immediately leading up to the spectacular death of a young rock god — that would bind the record together while simultaneously elevating KISS itself to godlike status, had occasion to see two films to which the 20 year old had contributed his sound effect producing skills and decided he was the man with the talent and creativity to help them realize their vision.

Frehley and Criss were less enthusiastic, Frehley largely for the lack of democracy, Criss for that, and his belief that he should be the group’s go-to man, “As pertains to all things percussion.” “Please don’t start with that,” snapped Frehley, who quickly opted to go along with “The Bosses” over taking a stand with “Catdrummer.” 

The sessions collapsed in utter acrimony after only 3 days. On the first day, with the backing of Stanley and Simmons, Fiorentino asked that all instruments initially be removed from the studio to make room for visualization and team building exercises, and “mistakenly” locked the studio door and “misplaced” the key while Frehley and Criss were loading out their gear. By the time the locksmith had the door opened again in the mid-afternoon, the opening sequence’s running time was 23:14, of which five full minutes was a car keys-jingling solo. No guitars. No drums.

On day two, Frehley and Criss arrived at the studio to find themselves confronted with armed guards in possession of photographs of each of them, and strict orders to prevent either of them from entering the building, “By any means necessary, gentlemen.” Criss did manage at one point to convince a telephone operator that he was a rabbi responding to a spiritual emergency, getting her to patch him through to the control booth for just under three minutes, just long enough for him to pitch them ‘Beth’ before they recognized him and disconnected the call.

On day three, good news and bad news for Criss to start the day. The good news, ‘Beth’ would make the album. The bad news: they would use only the version he sang over the telephone; no piano, no strings. He would admit later that he fared better than Frehley, whose apartment was barricaded from the outside, preventing exit until just past noon, but he was sufficiently chagrined at the time to go in with Frehley’s plan, upon his arrival, of “smoking out the rats” with stink bombs placed in the building’s ventilation ducts.

Announcing that he could not work under such strenuous conditions, Fiorentino walked out on the sessions right then and there, boarding the next flight to Italy and vowing never working in rock and roll again.**

You know what happened next: upon his leaving American soil, Stanley and Simmons were released from the foley artist’s psychic grasp, Bob Ezrin was eventually taken on to oversee the Destroyer II sessions (after replacements for Frehley and Criss were secretly auditioned and hired), and the album was a big hit. Especially ‘Beth’.

 

*not really

**he has emerged from his retirement twice: once each to jingle car keys for Swell’s Well? and  on Songs for the Deaf by the Queens of the Stone Age.

Signs of Spring

I saw Cadence Weapon out in front of his house yesterday, scraping the ice off his sidewalk. This happened around this same time last year, too, except this year I drove by him in a car, while last time I was on my bike. I don’t think there’s anyone in Edmonton I’m happier to see shoveling their walk.

Things we need a blog for

Usually it’s me who so perfectly nails an idea on the first try, that to say anything more about it is an utter waste of time. But that isn’t to say others aren’t capable of the occasional flash of brilliance. And sharing is good.

cum on, feel the noize

Welcome, welcome. It’s as factual as it is problematic that, just as quickly as you get it together enough to act on that bright idea you’ve had bouncing around your head for so long, every other idea that has ever been in your head evacuates the premises while you’re trying to think up a password. So congratulations, 68Comeback Special, on your very first blog post, the very best proof available that you don’t have nearly as much going on upstairs as you might claim. Yesssss!

Maybe we shouldn’t overthink things. For starters, why doncha tune into the 68Comeback Special, Thursday afternoons from 3-5pm on CJSR-FM88 (88.5 on your fm dial) in beautiful, bone-chilling Edmonton, AB, Canada. Y’all can listen over the web, too.

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