Blogging the Commercial I Just Watched: Hanes “Bacon Neck” feat. Michael Jordan

Someone else has suggested that it's an "Oliver Hardy," but I'm not convinced of that at all.Michael Jordan is sitting next to some guy on an airplane. The other guy is a regular in these commercials, but does he have a name? I don’t know. How does he always manage to be sitting next to Michael Jordan on airplanes? It’s either a mystery no one cares about, or Michael Jordan’s got a boyfriend that he hides in plain sight.

Another passenger keeps leaning forward and staring*. Michael Jordan doesn’t notice, but his boyfriend does. His boyfriend also observes that the starey guy’s t-shirt has got a “bacon neck” – it’s all curly and wavy “like bacon in a pan” and doesn’t look very good. Whereas, with their stay-flat collars, Michael Jordan and his boyfriend “are like twins.”

Michael Jordan disagrees. “No we’re not.” His boyfriend should probably just concede the point because 1) you don’t want to too closely resemble the person you’re dating, no matter what, but especially 2) when the person you’re dating is growing a Hitler mustache**.

*Up to this point, he’s probably always thought he wouldn’t ever stand a chance with someone like Michael Jordan.

**Dude was one heckuva basketball player, but there are some things that even Michael Jordan can’t do, and one of them is rehabilitate a thoroughly discredited image.

    • Freddi
    • May 6th, 2011

    Puuuuleaze!!!!!! We will alway love MJ. No matter what is image.

      • 68comeback
      • May 6th, 2011

      No one’s criticizing. You can’t help who you love. But you love your mom, too, don’t you? Enough to warn her when her ‘stache starts seeming a little bit Hitler? I thought so.

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