The Bachelor: “Do I have to give out more roses?”

How many times has this happened to you: you’re on a romantic drive up the coast of California, just you and your boyfriend and his eight other girlfriends, when all of a sudden, your bus pulls over and there’s dune buggies? And even though he doesn’t say anything about it right out loud, you can’t help but feel that your boyfriend is being especially judgmental on this trip, and it’s not fair because it’s about your dune buggy driving abilities?

Okay, but how about this? How many times have you gone on an intimate date with your boyfriend and another of his girlfriends, with nice food and conversation and stuff like that, so that he can decide which of you he’s going to keep around a little longer and which he’s going to send packing in the middle of the date, and he takes the other girl outside to talk for a minute, after which she comes in, gets her stuff and goes and so you’re thinking, “Hot dog! That bitch goes, but this bitch stays,” but then he sends you packing, too?

Or, at the end of the long drive up the coast to Big Sur, you and the other eight girlfriends doll yourselves up for a lot of hanging around with each other and a little bit of chit chat with your boyfriend, again to the end of him deciding who to keep around and who to send away because he doesn’t want to marry her. He does this via the giving of roses – you get one, you stay, you don’t get one, you go – of which he has a trayful of them, but when he gets down to the last two, he suddenly leaves the room and comes back with another guy who says that your boyfriend doesn’t want to give them all out and takes one of them away.* Then, THEN – he gives the last rose to a girlfriend that you DON’T like and kicks out you and another girlfriend that you DO like. That ever happen to you? Were you on TV at the time?

Poor Jessie. Sent packing because she can’t drive a dune buggy. And maybe also because of green eye shadow. And maybe also because, during the teeny-tiny amount of private time she was granted with her ‘boyfriend,’ all she wanted to talk about was how much she didn’t like another of the girls.**

Poor Ella and Kathryn. Rulebreaker Jake only had to give the boot to one of them, but he gave it to both. Why? Because you can’t marry everybody. It’s the law.

Poor Ashleigh. Sometimes you don’t get the credit you deserve for having your values and morals in order.

Poor Vienna. For all that it’s supposed to be whispering that Ali’s doing about how much she hates Vienna and Vienna shouldn’t really be there, it’s pretty loud whispering. That Ali sure does think she’s the queen bee, doesn’t she? It’s almost enough to make me want to root for Vienna, except I really don’t want her and her buggy, buggy eyes to ever be happy.

Finally, I’m not totally sure about Jake’s strategy of getting rid of people the minute he thinks that he doesn’t see a long-term future with them. Granted, I’m not totally sure either about his strategy of finding a wife on a TV show, but what do I know? It’s got him helicopter and dune buggy rides and quite a bit of smooching so far, why couldn’t it also get him a perfectly good wife?

*   Shouldn’t everyone have someone like this on call in their lives? “Craig’s decided that it’s not a good idea for him to empty the dishwasher because…,” “Prime Minister Stephen Harper thinks it would be a good idea to prorogue parliament, again, because…”

**  Why do they all apparently feel the need, when they’ve got all of 5 minutes alone time with this guy, to talk about people other than themselves? “Now that I’ve got you all to myself and we could talk about anything in the whole wide world, don’t you want to hear, above everything else (and yet again), about how much I don’t like someone else in the house?” Weird.

Advertisements
    • Rachel
    • January 26th, 2010

    This might be a silly question, but is there always this much cattiness on The Bachelor? I only really got hooked last season, and most of Jillian’s boyfriends (aside from the totally psycho ones) were so sweet and lovely. It’s a bit of a drag watching them all complain about Vienna.

    who d’you think he’s gonna pick??

      • 68comeback
      • January 27th, 2010

      I don’t remember ever seeing the sustained cattiness that we’ve seen so far this year. There’s always been friction between individuals and it’ll simmer sometimes, but it’s rare for anybody/everybody else to get involved, or for it to become such a focal point.
      I agree that it’s a drag to watch them all complain about Vienna, but I also think it’s a decent strategy she’s employing, whether or not she’s conscious of doing it. The others totally allow her to irritate them and throw them off their games. Instead of focusing on their own behaviour, they focus on hers. She may not get along with them, but she gets along fine with him, which is the point of the whole exercise. When they bitch to him about her, it leaves him thinking that they’re the ones who must be hard to get along with.
      Up until last episode, I was fairly convinced that he would pick Ali. That’s the power of editing for you. I’d still say she’s the frontrunner, but she doesn’t seem quite as classy or self-confident (and therefore attractive) now as she did before. But I still like her best.

    • Gillian
    • January 26th, 2010

    Soooo glad you are my boyfriend, even if helicopters, dune buggies and roses are hardly ever involved. Rather, because of all those things…

      • 68comeback
      • January 27th, 2010

      I’m very glad you’re my girlfriend, and this show reminds me over and over and over again that I’m glad you’re my only girlfriend.

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: