The End is Nigh, okay?

Don’t get too worked up about it; the end has always been lurking about, filling our hearts with anxiety and making us vulnerable to the designs of various and sundry manipulators and creeps.

The problem with impending doom has always been that it’s nature has never been particularly clear. We know the when – soon – but until now, we’ve not known the ‘how.’

So, Slate through a bunch of apocalyptic scenarios*, offered ’em up in the form of a matrix by which its readers could choose the means by which they think the end of all things will be delivered, then tallied the results. The Top 5 that could spell the end, either individually or in concert: Loose Nukes, Peak Oil, Antibiotic Resistance, China Unloads U.S. Treasurys and/or an Israel-Arab War. Hmm well, maybe, maybe not. At the same time we at the 68Comeback Special can’t help but ask, “What are we, chopped liver?” it’s still too early to say any more than that.

There’s a whole bunch of possibilities, even a couple including Canada. And even if they’ve already calculated the results, it’s not like the future’s written in stone and it’s not too late for you to choose your own. Start a pool with your friends to mark time while you wait for the end to come. Maybe even arrange a little tontine, so the last person remaining has something to be thankful for in their absolute loneliness.

*they’re good-natured enough about it, but of course they equate the ruin of the United States with the end of everything. What’re we gonna do about Americans, eh?

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