Worse Than Detroit

You will surely agree with me when I say that there is something about the name Samantha Power (something in numerology?) that quite literally compels a person without such a name to pursue every possible means in order to achieve the end of pleasing the Sam Power they know. 

Last week on the radio show, I played the Mariachi el Bronx cover of I Would Die 4 from the Prince thing that Spin did. Personally, I think the version is stupendous. I like the instrumentation, how it allows for a closer focus on the (crazy-ass) lyrics. I like the slight change in the rhythm of the chorus. I like how they own it.

But CJSR’s News Director Sam Power didn’t like it. She told me so. “I don’t like it,” she said, and it’s been tormenting me ever since. It’s just that I’m so not likely to be wrong about stuff, but then there’s Sam Power saying, “I don’t like it,” and it leaves me in a state of just not knowing for sure, but not wanting to take any chances, given that this was Sam Power. I called my mom, told her I had to redeem myself in Sam Power’s eyes, but I didn’t know how. “Don’t you?” she asked cryptically, and I knew that I did indeed have the answer. This calls for none other than the most death defying of stunts designed to restore one’s standing with the Sam Powers of the world – the ol’ Robert Plant.

The strategy is as follows: the supplicant obtains a Robert Plant solo album that they used to know but have since completely forgotten. After a minimum of two days of contemplation of the chosen album (no listening!), a Public Declaration of Intent to Resolve, followed by two and a half more days of contemplation (no listening!), they take the album to their show, in a smaller bag by itself, but in the same bag as the rest of the stuff they bring. By bringing the Plant out only at the moment at which it is to be played, and by selecting the track to be played within 5 seconds of its removal from its bag, they will ensure that they will be choosing the right track with which to properly define, contextualize and subsequently resolve their misstep. Outsiders are allowed to comment in the comments about which track they think should be the one, and they should. This is important. 

I went to the library on Friday on my way home from work, found and borrowed the copy of Robert Plant’s debut solo album Pictures at Eleven. I remember not one note from this record and my contemplation so far has been surprisingly deep, considering my capabilities. I will follow the ritual as described, so that Sam Power will think better of me.

Tune in to the 68 Comeback Special this coming Thursday, July 16, 2009 on CJSR-FM88. Tom’s going to be back, Gabe’ll do the Summertime Fun report, balance will be restored to the universe re: Sam Power, and yah yah yah.

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